A CONSPIRACY IN OUR FAVOR
Even though I know, logically, that the reasons we humans must learn over and over again how to reach out and ask for help is that we live in a patriarchal, late-stage capitalistic culture that over-values individualization and productivity, I am still taken aback by just how often our struggles are solved by landing solidly in our willingness to ask for assistance from another human.
That and remembering to breathe and slow down can create so much space for us to actually, fully arrive.
Despite knowing that we are pack animals and that we’re meant to be in community…
Despite my (extensive) training in our interdependence, connection, and overall oneness…
Despite years upon years in Alanon rooms being reminded that asking for help is not a sign of weakness…
Despite the knowledge that I cannot name a single thing I’ve ever done alone, truly alone…
Still, it rarely occurs to me to ask for help.
Now, my sister might call this chronic self-reliance. And I get that it’s a symptom of our childhoods and that it’s something to be constantly questioned and re-examined. I can see this in other people from a mile away, maybe because I struggle with it myself. (Hit me up if you want support.)
Over and over, we are presented with opportunities to learn the subtleties involved with reaching out, with leaning in, and heck with building community in the first fucking place!
Right?! Cause capitalism doesn’t really work if we feel good and supported and satisfied. So, we are constantly presented with chances to reassert our connectedness because the universe is conspiring in our favor and wants us to succeed.
However, our idea of success and the Divine’s may differ. AND I choose to trust that what’s meant for me won’t miss me. I intend to surround myself with people from whom I am willing to accept help. I intend to build a community so strong and reliable that I don’t worry that I may be a burden or problem. I intend to treat myself with as much generosity and compassion and patience as I treat every-friggin-body else!
I want that for you too, for you to be as merciful and compassionate with yourself as you are with others. And to practice asking for help when you need it. And to ask someone else if that person says no!!